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A funny thing happened to me not long ago…I woke up on my birthday last month and realized I’m getting older. I know, it sounds ridiculous, everyone gets older. But this was different, this was the realization that I’m now at an age where I question things that I wouldn’t have given a second thought to a few years back. I don’t feel old in any way physically, or even mentally, but I wonder about my style, is it reflecting my age? Has it begun to look like an old lady’s house, or a cat lady’s house? {That’s really not possible since we have a pair of dogs} 🙂
For example, I’ve always felt confident in my ability to decorate my home in a style that works for my tastes, and seems to be acceptable to our family. And as if validation mattered, I receive compliments along the way from visitors who have stated that our home is pretty. I don’t say that in any kind of boastful way, but rather to make the point that I never second guessed every little decision where decor was concerned.
I still love many of the same things I’ve always loved, English country style with a bit of French thrown in, more Ralph Lauren than Matthew Patrick Smyth, and because of the size of our home, it’s more rustic than elegant. It’s evolved as we’ve aged and I’ve worked hard to keep the tchotchkes edited down. I have always been open to change and like to rotate certain accessories/accents for the season. All that said, I’ve begun to wonder…is my house beginning to look dated? Does this happen to any of you?
I took heart from a recent Charlotte Moss quote I read in Veranda magazine:
“I’m a collector…You know when you lock eyes with a person? I’ve been locking eyes with objects my entire life.”
I’ve always been more riveted by a beautiful tabletop than the table itself. Maybe that’s why I worry about getting carried away with the very treasures I love.
A great vignette, with the right accessories, can make me weak in the knees. My files are filled with rooms that are especially beautiful due to great styling details. Is this the very thing that has me worried? Maybe. I do embrace the minimalists approach which stresses living with what you love, and I do [live with what I love].
That said, I think it doesn’t hurt to be mindful of one’s surroundings, not overly sentimental. So, my dear friends, keep me honest. If I share a room that’s beginning to look one knick-knack short of a hoarders den, gently remind me of this post! 🙂
Do you ever have doubts about the direction you’re going where home/style is concerned? Any remedies? 🙂
Garden, Home & Party 
Charity Hughes said:
Big difference between “dated” and CLASSIC, which never goes out of style. You have nothing to worry about, and the fact that you are worrying guarantees that you’ll keep it fresh!
Karen B. said:
Charity,
Thanks, I needed this. 🙂 It might be age that causes a momentary lapse in confidence. In any event, you are so sweet to comment with such simple, sage wisdom! xo, K
Tone on Tone Loi Thai said:
I so agree with Charity! Your home is beautiful and warm, Karen. And that is a great quote by Charlotte Moss. Thanks for sharing it. xoxo
Karen B. said:
Thank you, Loi. I did feel a lot better after I received so many sweet compliments (which wasn’t the reason for the post). I think it must boil down to keeping in mind that you only use what you truly love! xo, Karen
On Fri, Feb 6, 2015 at 1:55 PM, Garden, Home & Party wrote:
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Victoria • Restoring our Victorian said:
I nodded in agreement through this entire post… In the last two months I have acquired a couple of new/large old pieces and when we brought the last one in the house, I looked around and thought to myself – I LOVE ALL OF THIS.
But also I wondered – would someone else see this the same way I do? Or to a stranger, would my house look like someone’s grandmother’s house? Old stuff, fussy, dark wood…
Karen B. said:
In light of your youth, this makes me feel so much better. Maybe everyone goes through this from time to time?! You don’t hear Charlotte Moss or Bunny Williams questioning their style…not that I’m even trying to compare, but maybe it’s the lay person decorator that sometimes wonders what they’re doing. 🙂 Karen
On Wed, Feb 4, 2015 at 6:16 AM, Garden, Home & Party wrote:
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Nella said:
I feel I am speaking directly through you in this post ! My sentiments lately for certain, as far as confidence in choices in every aspect of my life, decor, fashion, collections etc….how I solve his uncertainty when it happens is, I think about the icons in these areas..Ralph Lauren, Charlotte Moss, Bunny Williams, Bunny Mellon, yes, just to mention a few….those who have stuck to their vision for decades…oblivious to trends…who have longevity in their designs…I ask myself, what would they do? I particularly struggle with this when I’m working for a new bride and designing her wedding flowers…I try to focus on my aesthetic and design values….I loved reading this post this morning, reassuring and heartfelt point of view, thank you!
Connie said:
I couldn’t have said it better. With 2 young daughters in law I am losing a little of my confidence also. It is a fine line between curated and junky. I am going to keep doing what I always have. It makes me happy.
Sent from Connie’s iPad
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Karen B. said:
Connie,
You’re right, we need to stay true to ourselves, set a good example for our respective daughter-in-laws. 🙂
Thank you for stopping by and joining in the conversation.
xo
Karen
leslie@prettypetals said:
Karen, The answer is yes.. I do worry that I am looking like I used to see my folks back in the day. If one is willing and able to keep up with all of the social media, it’s easier to stay in the loop. This new house has come at the perfect time as I am of a certain age ;\ and we are starting (almost) from scratch. I’ve gotten rid of most of my furniture and as I slowly rebuilt I plan to go a lot more contemporary. I will also say that younger bloggers have been an inspiration in many cases!
Hopefully you saw my email yesterday. You came up as the winner for the little hearts:) Email me when you can and we can get them to you asap. xxL
Karen B. said:
Leslie, I agree, the young designers I follow have a confidence that gives me confidence in my home and the choices I make for it. I think we may all experience that uncertainty from time to time. I’m trying to stay focused and as things evolve in my home, I’m trying to keep it clear of over accessorizing. Your opportunity to start fresh is so appealing. I know you’re adding only what you love to the mix and it’s looking so beautiful. How exciting, no I don’t think I got your email. I will email you my info. xo, Karen
On Wed, Feb 4, 2015 at 7:28 AM, Garden, Home & Party wrote:
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Jayne on Weed Street said:
You have a great eye and you should trust it! Harder to say than practice – but you should not worry about what other people think about your look! If it looks fuddy duddy to them, then that is their impression and they can have it! But it seems like you have a nagging impression that it is beginning to look dated – then go ahead and put away some of the objects, bring in new, but don’t throw out old favorites! Trust me that your trash (overstated) will be someone’s treasure! I think I can give you this advise because I am older, and I have seen cycles and change in design and home decorating. Styles come in and go out and come back in! One thing that is true, if you buy the best of the best and great design, it will never go out of style. i.e Don’t get rid of a treasure to go buy a cheap imitation at Home Goods! Because you have great style, I am sure that if you are going with your own feelings and not what some home design magazine tells you is “in”, then you will continue to have an enviable and remarkable home! Remember, furniture and fabric manufacturers want you to keep buying new stuff, and to do that they have to convince you that you need to continually change. Not so! Oh my, you can see your question has struck a cord with me – sorry to be so long winded!!!
Karen B. said:
Jayne, You just made my day with your wisdom and kind compliments. You crack me up, I am probably older than you. We won’t go into that here, no need to share how young at heart we are. 🙂 I liked what you said about rotating things out when it feels a bit over done. I do agree, when I’ve tried to follow some trend that doesn’t really feel right, I’ve regretted it. Thanks for joining the conversation, I love it! Karen
On Wed, Feb 4, 2015 at 7:28 AM, Garden, Home & Party wrote:
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Vicki said:
I agree – I love rooms that are true to the person and show some care went into them. Classic rooms rarely look dated. I think editing is the key, as you said. Beautifully expressed post, Karen.
Karen B. said:
Vicki, Thank you for always joining in, I value your input. I do have to remind myself to edit, edit, edit. It’s become easier since I’m compulsive about changing things on a regular basis. Hahaha. Happy Wednesday! xo, Karen
On Wed, Feb 4, 2015 at 9:48 AM, Garden, Home & Party wrote:
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Teresa @ Splendid Sass said:
Karen,
This post is breathtaking! I love every single vignette. Going back to pin.
Happy Wednesday.
Teresa
xoxo
Karen B. said:
Teresa, Thanks so much. Karen
On Wed, Feb 4, 2015 at 10:40 AM, Garden, Home & Party wrote:
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missbbobochic said:
What an interesting post and certainly food for thought. I’m a great believer in being surrounded only by things that we love. It’s surprising how a few new accessories can refresh a room. Having said that, after living in our current home for almost fifteen years, we have made a few more dramatic changes including new wallpaper and paint colours.
Karen B. said:
I confess, I’ve always loved small antique bits and bobs. That is where I’ve begun to wonder if my home is beginning to have too many knick-knacks. I edit constantly and I think living in a house for along time, we fall prey to this. Like you, I’ve changed paint and floor coverings quite a number of times over the 33 years we’ve lived here. 🙂 xo, Karen
On Wed, Feb 4, 2015 at 1:34 PM, Garden, Home & Party wrote:
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Sheila said:
Karen…yes, I have had the same thoughts and anxieties about my home. Maybe it is part of being an older gal. We have been collecting and saving things for years, and have quite a stash by now! Ha! Your home is lovely…so your worries can be swept away! Homes of quality are always in style. My heart flutters when I tour old Savannah or Charleston houses…and those homes and period decor ate OLD! My home will not stand up to comparison with mid century modern…as those are clean and clutter free abodes. But we do need friends who will pull us over to the side and caution us about being one thing short of a horder. Ha!
Keep the faith…I love your posts!
Sheila
Karen B. said:
Sheila, We must make a pack! 🙂 This was a milestone birthday this year…it got me to thinking…too much, possibly. xo, Karen
On Wed, Feb 4, 2015 at 1:44 PM, Garden, Home & Party wrote:
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Dawn said:
Such a thought-provoking post, Karen! I’ve always admired the photos you’ve shared of your home. It’s just lovely! I think that I have ‘grown into’ my home over the past 27 years! I have always decorated with cherished antiques. It’s funny though… The older lady that lived here before me had an antique teacup collection in her dining room. It seemed kind of old-fashioned to me, as a young, single homebuyer. Over the past few years, I have begun to display my own antique teacup collection in the same dining room. Now, it feels so right! ♡
Karen B. said:
Dawn, I had to laugh, that is exactly what I’ve figured out. The things that used to seem like something for an older woman, now seems quite comfortable to me! 🙂 I do believe in keeping things out that bring you joy. We’ve been in our house for 33 years this April, I think we are at that crossroads that requires some paring down. I hope to achieve a measure of success this year on that score. Wish me luck, I’m going in! 🙂 Karen
On Wed, Feb 4, 2015 at 2:50 PM, Garden, Home & Party wrote:
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Dawn said:
Karen, I’m smiling a ‘knowing’ smile! I’m trying so hard not to buy any large pieces of furniture, knowing that in the years to come we will decide to downsize to an even smaller home, away from all this snow! Good luck, sweet friend! ♡
Karen B. said:
Dawn, I think that will be our goal as well, Mr. B. and I could use a little less yard and a little less maintenance. Still, I do enjoy our home and I love to garden, maybe it will keep me young. Your snow is so lovely in your images, it always makes me wish I lived where it snows. Having never done that, many have warned me I would not love it as much as I think I would. xo, Karen
On Wed, Feb 4, 2015 at 3:51 PM, Garden, Home & Party wrote:
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Gretchen said:
Karen, I have had those same thoughts for the last number of years. After much consideration I have come to the same conclusion as many of your readers. Classic never goes out of style! I think you have to surround yourself with what makes you happy and not care if it appeals to everyone else. A house says so much about who you are. Your house reflects a person who is very creative and has wonderful attention to detail. Don’t change what you do so well!
Karen B. said:
Gretchen, Sometimes just writing about such a topic is an avenue to seeing more clearly. It’s nice to reason through the issue. I take heart when I hear from designers such as yourself and it helps to know there’s a consensus on living with what *you love* and not worrying about what others might think. Thank you! xo, Karen
On Wed, Feb 4, 2015 at 8:23 PM, Garden, Home & Party wrote:
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Chronica Domus said:
I think that if you truly live with what you love, and from what I see of your home that is classic style, well that will never go out of fashion. What will always become outdated are fads (i.e. the latest accessory “must haves”) so as long as you avoid those, you’ll be all set, in my very humbe opinion of course.
Chronica Domus said:
sorry, that would be “humble”
Karen B. said:
CD, I needed the reminder. It’s nice to hear from people I admire for a bit of reinforcement, thank you. xo, Karen
On Wed, Feb 4, 2015 at 9:16 PM, Garden, Home & Party wrote:
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yvonne said:
You have connected with many women. I know you have taken all my thoughts (concerns) and put them into words ! Great blog, loved reading as well as the visuals.
Karen B. said:
Thanks, Yvonne. It’s fun to hear from women who share some of the same thoughts. 🙂 Karen
On Thu, Feb 5, 2015 at 7:30 AM, Garden, Home & Party wrote:
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cindy hattersley said:
This post was wonderful. My answer to your question..yes like every day. I am wondering if you are getting to be my age?…probably not that old!! My daughter and daughter in law keep me in line with fashion (well sort of) but I do have a little touch of that hoarder/collector mentality. I try to remind myself constantly…edit, edit, edit!!! The problem is I don’t always listen!!
Karen B. said:
Hahaha, Cindy, I’ve seen your picture on your blog, I’m pretty sure I’m older…wish that was a contest I wanted to win! I have 2 very sweet daughter-in-laws and I rely on them to keep me young. One loves to decorate and her taste is similar to mine, the other wants to decorate it and forget about it. I guess, like one of my readers suggested, if you’re thinking about this topic, you probably won’t fall prey to the old lady knick-knack overload! 🙂 xo, Karen
On Thu, Feb 5, 2015 at 11:42 AM, Garden, Home & Party wrote:
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kristywharvey said:
I love this post, Karen! And, let me just say, if being a crazy cat lady involves that crate of kittens then sign me up!! My style has changed so much in the past few years, which I guess is sort of normal as you’re “growing up!” I used to want everything to look decorated. Now I want it to be as clean and streamlined as possible. Of course, I’m sure that’s partially because that’s trendy now. But I think I’ve been really into making my style look younger and fresher… As I’ve gotten older. That makes no sense! I just did an interview with Ken Gemes and he said he thinks that’s common because we succumb to the “grown up house” mentality and instantly think things have to be a certain way. (He’s so adorable, btw.) Anyway, I always think your style is perfect. If you love those knick knacks, I say overload away!! As long a you love it, ten I say you’re on the right track! xx, Kristy
Karen B. said:
Oh, Kristy, you made me laugh. I know, weren’t those the cutest kittens? Puppies and kittens can always steal the show. 🙂 I remember trying to discover my design point of view in my twenties. It wasn’t until my first trip to London, in my early thirties, that I felt I had a distinct direction. I still love the overall european feel over the more contemporary look, but the clean lines and neutral colorway that is currently popular is very appealing in it’s calming effect. I agree, we all have to surround ourselves with the things that make our heart sing. I will be mindful of my propensity towards “stuff” and keep the edit button on. xo Karen
On Thu, Feb 5, 2015 at 2:02 PM, Garden, Home & Party wrote:
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Karena said:
Karen when I see a home I really love it is usually because the owner has collected special finds over the years that are meaningful! I always say I don’t need another things and then something will catch my eye….sometimes something else has to go, and that’s okay too!
xoxo
Karena
The Arts by Karena New Feature
Karen B. said:
Karena, I agree, it’s those little things that people have collected throughout their journey that appeal to me as well. I just want to make sure I add one thing and maybe relegate one thing to the storage box until the mood strikes to re-style! 🙂 xo, Karen
On Thu, Feb 5, 2015 at 3:40 PM, Garden, Home & Party wrote:
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Linda Coble said:
Karen,
Having just celebrated a birthday myself, I’ve had many of the same thoughts as you described. First: I’m getting older and there’s not much I can do about it. Second: I’m questioning my ability to fully realize my decorating style. I’ve pondered this second thought for quite awhile recently and have finally come to the conclusion that I’ve done a pretty good job but my home will always be a work in progress. In the meantime, it reflects what I love and am most comfortable with. As you quoted in one of your earlier posts . . . “Your home is a scrapbook of your life.” My scrapbook will always be changing but it will reflect what’s important to me and that makes me immensely content.
Karen B. said:
Linda, I can always count on you and your words of wisdom. So true. Change is what keeps our homes alive and well, even if the change is just to display a group of seasonal collections. Have a wonderful weekend, my friend. xo, Karen
On Fri, Feb 6, 2015 at 2:30 PM, Garden, Home & Party wrote:
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Jaybird said:
I jut found your blog this morning, and oh my, I may be here the rest of the day!!! Do you do lunch????
I don’t think dated and what you show are even in the same league. Yours is so warm and classic……just lovely!!
Blessings,
J
Karen B. said:
Hi Jaybird,
Thanks so much. I’m happy you stopped by. Hope you’ll visit again.
Karen